Life of the Wife after SHTF

Hello Ferfal,

 

I was interested in knowing what life is like for your wife.  Being 

a mom with two small children, I want to get someinsight on

 what lies ahead.  What are "safe places" she is able to

 go?  Grocery store? Doctor/dentist?  How has 

her ability to conduct business and move around with the

 children to tend to every day home tasks been affected?

  Any insight would be much appreciated.  If you have 

written on this already, feel free to direct me to the location

 as I am a new reader.   

 

Thank you for your insights, honesty, and hard work.

 

Sincerely, 

 

Eileen 

Hi Eileen, thanks for you email.

My wife stopped working this year. Her family’s company is located in a bad suburb of Buenos Aires and its getting ridiculously dangerous.

A lot of people just don’t have an option but we decided that its the safest thing to do and not worth the money, not that any amount of money is worth your life, but again, most people don’t have an option.

She used to go in public transportation (bus) since the car ads a greater risk in that particular area (very poor, so only “people with money” have cars) , its better to apply the “gray man” approach (or in this case, “gray woman” :-) )and get lost in the crowd.  This means other complications but all things considered it was safer. They still robbed the company several times and we made this decision after a few conversations.

These days she stays home doing housewife stuff, goes to the gym three times a week and looks after our youngest son and picks our oldest from school (half a block away).

Since we’re leaving to USA in a few more months, we’re being extra careful and we’re putting our lives on hold. She moves around with “remis” (informal cab drivers) when she has to take the kids to the doctor or run errands, go to the grocery.

Your question is a very good one and it points out certain things people don’t notice.

A family works as a group, a team, and like a chain, the chain is only as strong as the weakest link.

When it comes to security, that link would be my wife and kids.

I can take all the self defense classes I want, I can train, carry guns, and do everything I can think of, that wont change the fact that my wife is a very easy target when she’s taking my oldest son to the dentist.

People look at me and they don’t see someone that would be an easy victim, my petite wife is a different story. She’s alert and aware, but sometimes tha’s not enough. 

Criminals know this, they are experts in telling how you’re going to react and how dangerous you are. I often discover after talking with people, even if it’s a big guy, if he has a weak personality, in spite of the size I know before asking that he has been robbed before. It’s you body language, the way you walk, your eyes, if you look alert and most importantly, if you actually CAN hurt someone if needed. A criminal will know all this instinctively just like a bee knows there’s nectar in a flower.

Since we understand that, we try to minimize her exposure as much as possible, specially since we’re not considering this a permanent situation.

We don’t go out much, when we do we take every single precaution we can, up to the point of being paranoid. Paranoid keeps you safe, happy go lucky means you’ll get mugged and you’ll be a violent crime victim often. That’s simply how it works in Argentina. Nothing assures you anything, no matter how careful you are, but it clearly reduces the odds a lot.

Now for most women, they have to deal with it and cant afford to quit their jobs: Being very careful to get home quickly after dark, extra care with their purses, careful not to use the cell phone so it doesn’t get snatched out of their hands. Having some money in case you get mugged isn’t a bad idea either. Some people have been shot because the scumbag didn’t find enough cash in a purse, some sort of revenge I suppose.
A lot of women, including my wife, carry OC Spray and keep it handy when walking on the street. Knives and guns also get carried in purses by more Argentine women than you’ll ever hear them admit. It’s the kind of thing you do but don’t tell anyone.

Its not easy for women. There’s an abundance of social predators that know the truth.

By this I mean that people think we live in the same world we used to live in, where there’s a punishment for your crimes. Even though most Argentines understand that this situation has changed a lot, there’s still that general subliminal idea in the mind of the population. On the other hand, there’s other people, specially criminals, that understand this is no longer true.

I’m trying carefully so as to not sound alarmist or like someone that exaggerates things, so lets just put it the following way: You have to be very, very stupid AND very unlucky to get caught for committing crimes in Argentina. I’ve posted about the exact number of actual crimes getting resolved here and the criminals being sentenced, but its far less than 3%.

In such an environment, criminals of all kinds, perverts, rapists, assassins, they all work and hunt at will.

Just today I got a chain email from an old girl friend from College. She’s warning women still going to the university about perverts taking pictures in the women’s bathroom when you’re in the toilet. There’s a rapist hunting in the faculty of medicine too, INSIDE THE BUILDING, in some of the more abandoned floor levels where there’s some labs still active. How is this possible? The building is big, the funds are a joke, so two things happen: 1) Many floors and classrooms just aren’t used, so in the same buildings you have “no man land” sectors and floors 2) There’s no fund to put guards, cameras, and security. This same situation occurs in hospitals, schools, and many public buildings where rapes, robberies and even homicides occur with alarming frequency. 

Its not easy to live in Argentina, and its specially hard for women and older, more frail people.

Check the “security” and “self defense” topics (down, left column) you’ll find I often talk about security issues for women and senior citizens.

FerFAL