There was one point thought that I very much disagree with. Sometimes I see similar ideas or notions by other people, that the person that doesn’t fear to be killed is better off some way or another.
(10) Lose your fear of dying! There are no guarantees in this life, and, end the end, we're all dead anyway. [Those] Who look for "fairness" in the way the world is ordered, do so in [vain]!
Definitely no, Do NOT lose your fear to die, or kid yourself into believing that or behaving as if you do.
Not only is it BS ( no one sane wants to die) but it’s also a bad decision that will get you to make stupid mistakes.
There’s a BIG difference between not letting fear control you ( agree 100% there, fear freezes you up when you need to act quickly) and not fearing death.
Good for you if you don’t fear death. I do. I’m afraid I’ll die and leave my wife and kids without a husband and a father to look after them, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. It is for this reason that I do what I do to make sure I come back home everyday.
I don’t let fear control me but heck I wanna live.
It’s ok to be scared as long as you don’t let the fear control you, specially freeze you when you need your brain to act 1000mph and come up with the best course of action in 1/10 of a second.
Want to know a little secret?
After living in fear for some time you get used to it, it becomes something you finally accept without even realizing it and that makes you more prepared for when bad things happen. It doesn’t catch you off guard, because you’ve already expected that or something very similar to happen a thousand times.
As time goes by fear gets replaced by acceptance. You accept that that bad thing you used to fear will eventually happen, and when that happens you do what you have to do.
Once you get used to living with fear, you could say that the fear pretty much disappears.
About being a soft target
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. All my 85 year old grandma can do is grab her purse tight with both hands, turn away when she sees suspicious looking people, be VERY cautious of the places she goes to and at what times of the day she does what she needs to do.
She will usually go to the grocery store in the morning when the streets are full of people, and there’s some police presence, and she will only go to known places just a couple of blocks away.
Not perfect but it has worked for her so far, my dear grandma is one cautious old lady. :)
Of course that if you are not 80 there are things you can do so as not to get targeted.
Looking like one of those dumb Emo freaks sure is an invitation to get pushed around.
Hell, I’m a nice guy and even I feel like kicking their asses myself when I see them! A person that is outspokenly proud of its weakens, and makes it clear for everyone to see will certainly invite aggression in a violent society.
There are other more subtle things bad guys see, maybe even without realizing it themselves clearly. The way a person walks, the way he carries himself. The clothes he wears, if he looks shy or weak in any way.
Clothes that looks a bit more “feminine”, things like hippie-like sandal or bags, or pastel colored clothes, and thing that can be read by these predators as a sign of possible weakness is working against you.
I can tell you without a doubt, any person that cares to observe will see a difference between the way people dress in, high end neighborhoods and the rest where middle and poor class live.
Around the Bs. As. suburbs where I live, they’d eat those so called metrosexual guys up.
Even things like glasses are seen as signs of weakness. I only used glasses for a while when I was younger and quickly changed to contact lenses because of this, and finally got LASIK surgery done.
Awareness is by far the most important thing. Wont give you much to brag about with the guys but the confrontation you avoid is always better than the one you win.
Humans must the only creature that managed to suppress it’s instinct.
Don’t be ashamed of turning if you feel someone behind you, or turning 180 º the other way and leaving if something looks like an ambush. Hear, smell and see your environment. You should always know what’s going on at least half a block in front and behind you.
Not much to do if you are too old, but for a young person looking strong and fit does make you look like a harder target. And it’s not just looks, you probably ARE a harder target if you are strong and fit.
It’s also about the way you carry yourself, the way you walk, the way you keep your head high, looking confident.
I don’t go around staring people, but I don’t avoid eye contact either, it’s a sign of weakness.
Just look into the person’s eye long enough to let them know you acknowledge him and go on.
Being armed, at all times, makes a huge difference if things turn to worst. Don’t hesitate to use them. Someone asked me if I brought out my gun to threaten people.
I said, no, just a logical step before shooting him!
It’s not about playing dare or bluffing. Never bluff with a weapon. If you bring it out, be ready to use it. If the person turns and leaves when he sees you are armed, of course, it’s no longer self defense, and shooting someone in the back never looks good, specially in court.
Also, and this may be a bit more difficult, train yourself mentally to react violently when surprised. This is so important.
It’s similar in some ways to gun safety rules, when one fails, if the other one is kept in mind you generally are still safe, or at least you have a plan to fall back to.
Same here. You should be aware and avoid being surprised by criminals, but if this fails your reaction must be instant and violent.
Think of the last time someone surprised you, or grabbed you, pushed or touched you in the subway or some other crowded area.
Most people react by sheepishly moving away quickly from what surprised them. You should mentally prepare yourself to react pushing the threat away from you, ready to punch, kick and shoot as necessary.
This isn’t easy but you can change that with proper mindset. Just like your awareness level, it’s always there in pilot more, ready for reaction.
As long as no one is trying to stop me, surround me or stand in my way, big mouth and smartass remarks mean nothing to me. If a person feels more manly by insulting others or shouting challenges to me on the street, that’s fine. Got better things to do than getting into fights with losers, and I’m sure you do to.