Dear Mr. Aguirre,
Hello and thank you for your blog and book. I read both regularly, and I have come to understand that firearm ownership is essential for my family's protection. However, I am having a great deal of difficulty convincing my wife that a gun is a good idea, as she feels it poses a greater danger to people living in the house than any would-be intruder. If you could give me any ideas and/or persuasive techniques that could help me resolve this disagreement, I'd be eternally grateful. I could easily go out and get a gun myself, but ideally, out of respect for my spouse and matrimonial harmony, I'd like to convince her of a firearm's safety and necessity. I hope you can post my email so I may garner useful advice from your numerous knowledgeable readers. Thanks again for all you do, and I look forward to the day you can come to the U.S. permanently.
Good question and I’m sure a lot of readers are going through the same.
Let me ask you guys a question: Do you guys drive?
Car accidents kill way more people than gun accidents do but no one is questioning the wisdom of driving to work instead of using public transportation which may in fact be cheaper and less stressful for you.
Statistically, a gun in someone’s house is 40 times more likely to hurt a family member than a bad guys.
Statistically, you should never marry, because statistically speaking you’ll end up divorced anyway.
Statistically speaking, people are so stupid that they shouldn't own guns, drive cars or even use matches.
The question is, are you part of that dumb, almost brain dead mass?
Let me answer that for you: No, you are not.
I’m better than the average person, and so are you just because you read my blog, because you show interest in these subjects, care enough and clearly pretend to rise above this average mass.
We are better than the average person that would willingly resing his/her freedom only so as to not be held responsible for their own well being.
If for some reason, gentle reader, you’re still not sure about this, then make it an undeniable fact: Practice shooting at least once a month, take defensive shooting lessons and train them dry firing every week. Take defensive shooting classes every 6 months, no less than once a year. Finally, make a decision and take responsibility for it.
Do that and you wont be part of the average mass. You’ll be part of the elite that takes for themselves the responsibility of their well being in a serious manner.
My wife didn’t like guns, but it wasn’t something that was up for discussion either. I didn’t ask “look dear, maybe we should probably buy a gun just in case…” wrong approach.
I had a gun with me ever since I assume the responsibility of protecting my family because it’s the tool I need for such a task if something bad ever happens. Its not a matter of “maybes” or “probably”. It’s simply the way it is and if she doesn’t see that then maybe she married the wrong guy. More than enough metrosexual, psychologically castrated excuses of men out there to pick from if that’s what she fancies.
Worried about accidents? That’s what gun safes are for along with training. I can’t emphasize professional defensive shooting training enough. You may think that dad or grandpa taught you all you need to know, but you’re wrong. Do take classes and take your wife with you. Even better have her go separately, so that there’s no pressure or distraction.
Women LOVE shooting, its just that so many never even tried it or are afraid of guns. They like shooting simply because they are better at it than men. Women don’t feel the need to prove how macho they are or how fast they can shoot, they just listen and follow instructions and that’s what shooting is all about.
In spite of not liking guns, my wife listened when I told her how to use the gun we had when we got married. One day when I got back home I found my Glock on the living room table. Someone had rattled the front gate’s door, either trying to break in or see if it was unlocked. She was very scared but remembered what I had told her.
As things slowly get worse in terms of crime the probability of having to use your firearm and defensive knowledge increases. As of today, the probability of such things happing in your lifetime is greater than what most people think.
And its not about actually shooting someone either. The most likely scenario is you pulling the gun and the bad guy leaving like anyone that wishes to live a bit longer would. But you need a) to have a gun to draw in the first place b) To have the training so as to not shoot someone that doesn’t require it c) To use lethal force if the situation calls for it.
Have a good conversation with your wife. Explain to her what's on your mind. Maybe you’ll even have to explain that you now see things differently than you once did and she’ll have to accept this, and that you’d appreciate her support instead of being an obstacle. Would you have an ear removed if your wife asks you to? No, right? Its one of those things that simply aren't up for discussion. Same thing here. You can talk and explain all you want but its one of the things you'll do anyway. You'll explain to her WHY you are buying a gun, not IF.
You have a house, a family you’re responsible for, correct? You need a gun and the skill to use it, just like you need to provide for your family in ever other way. It is after all, your responsibility, one you assumed before God when you married. Don’t take it lightly.
Last year there was this incident, a guy forced two women inside their apartment, the boyfriend of one of them was inside. The attacker wasn’t even armed but the boyfriend, scared, laid on the floor as he was told to do while the guy raped both women, ate food from the fridge, then raped them again. The guy stayed on the floor all the time.
Do you want to be that guy?
I’d rather be dead than live with that in my conscience.
But here’s people that will gladly accept that they would have done the same thing. That they are unable to fight, or hurt another person let alone kill someone else in self defense.
You have to make up your mind as of right now, the kind of things you’ll put up with and the ones you wont. Where will you draw the line and what are you capable of doing.
As I usually say during these type of conversations; is there something in your life that you’d kill or die to protect? Then you need a gun and ammo. If the answer is no you need a gun too but just one round is enough.