So
today started as a typical day for me. Got up and quickly got dressed
to take the kids to school. As we are getting in the car my wife waves
us good bye… only to have the wind slam the door shut behind her. This
wouldn’t be a problem in most houses but we have a security door. Its
metal, and the doorknob doesn’t open from the outside even if unlocked. I
tried pushing the key with my own from the outside but it didn’t work
with the key inserted from the inside. I tried pushing it with my
Leatherman, using the small screwdriver bit as a poking tool. I have
done this successfully before with a safe key, the kind common for
houses in Argentina. In that situation EDC saved the day, but not today.
Survival
lesson #1
of the day was: Make sure your house is hardened against home invaders
but make sure you can get in if locked out yourself. The front door is
basically bullet proof, a metal security door with poured concrete
structure and masonry brick walls. The back door was also locked. It has
a sliding window but also a metal grate door which was locked. It is in
moments like these that you start thinking like a criminal trying to
break in. If you find that doing so is easy, then you have a security
problem. If not, then that’s great, just have a plan in case you get
locked out. Fortunately, my wife had just opened the windows and pulled
up the shutters from the kid’s rooms in the second floor. The problem
would be getting up there…
So now I have to take the kids to
school, we’re locked outside and my wife is wearing summer PJ’s, just to
make things interesting. You know what’s funnier? Only now while I
write this do I remember that I do keep an extra set of clothes for each
family member in the car. I mentioned it to my wife just now and she
said its too hot anyway for jeans. I’ll see about putting a pair of
shorts for each one in there as well.
Lesson #2: Keep spare clothes (and other supplies) in your vehicle and make sure they are adequate for the local climate.
We
drive the kids to school and hope our neighbour is home when we get
back. Turns out he’s not. I do see another neighbour further down the
street that is already staring curiously.
Lesson #3:
Although I usually prefer not having people nearby, it is true that
when you need help its nice to have neighbours you can count on. I also
notice that this particular neighbour was paying attention and noticed
the suspicious activity in my house. He already knew who we were and no
doubt had it been faces he didn’t recognize he would have called the
cops.
I wave and head down there. This is a British couple. They don’t speak much Spanish but I’m ok with English. Make that
lesson #4.
A second language is an extremely valuable tool, for life, for
employment, especially for expats, especially if you’re fluent it open a
world of options with people that don’t speak your language.
As
soon as they see I speak English their entire attitude and body language
changes and we start talking. Turns out they’ve been living in Spain
for nearly 20 years, left England looking for a better place to raise
the kids and haven’t looked back since then. Their kids are all grown up
now, one is a professional football player and the other one is a
teacher. The woman mentions that people in England used to be more
social back when she was young, but that now everyone stays in their
homes and keeps to themselves. In contrasts their kids made childhood
friends here with which they still keep in touch till this day. It’s
nice to see that other people basically reached the same conclusion we
did. My nephews had a similar experience living in London and are
already looking to move elsewhere.
After talking a bit I mention
the problem I have and ask if they have a ladder to get up to the window
in the second floor. They do, one of those expandable ones painters
use.
Now here I try to be extra careful. These are traditional
Mediterranean houses, with high ceilings to keep the house fresh during
summer and ceramic patio floors around it. Falling from that height
means you get the famous “serious injury or death”. I know of people
that have died from falling from their roofs either checking a leak,
installing an antenna or God knows what else. Statistically speaking,
this is the kind of moment when you don’t want to screw up.
I set
the ladder properly and take my time to securely climb and open the
window and move the mosquito net aside. I must have looked hilarious
crawling up there. But you know, I remembered something we had done in a
tactical shooting class, the correct way of climbing walls. It’s funny
how all these things come back to you. One guy would position his hands,
you’d step on them, grab onto the wall, step on his shoulder, pull
yourself up but keeping a low profile against the edge of the wall. Arm,
torso and one leg over the wall, the drop one leg over the other side,
slide your body end up hanging with your hand on the other side and then
drop to the floor. The “spiderman” technique, we called it. Of course
it wasn’t the same here because I couldn’t hang with my body weight on
the fragile window but I did keep my profile as low as possible, which
helped keep my center of gravity low so as to not lose balance and break
my neck. My wife was holding the ladder below. She later said the only
reason she didn’t burst laugh out loud as she saw my feet hanging there
in the window was that she was terrified of me falling.
Lesson #5:
Get in Shape and stay in it. I’m not nearly as fit as I would want to
be. I’m not nearly as fit as I CAN be if I just stop coming up with
excuses and actually get off my ass more. Make no excuses,
Self-criticism is your best ally when it comes to health and fitness.
Don’t be like those clowns in reality TV shows like “My Big Fat Fabulous
Life”. There’s nothing fabulous about being fat. Especially for what
concerns us, survival and preparedness, being overweight directly
impacts your health which is by far the number one cause of early death.
Not only that, it directly impacts your quality of live and it directly
impacts of course your physical capabilities. How many miles can you
walk if you need to make an effort during an emergency? How well can you
fight to protect yourself and your family? Does your physical and
fitness level impair what kind of jobs you can get and apply for? How
strong are you when you need that strength to work, move around
supplies, wood, food, or like today pull yourself through a second story
window? Sure enough I did it, but I could have done it a lot better and
there’s no excuse for it at my age and having no health problems of any
kind.
Its little events like these that remind us all the time of
the areas in which we can and must improve on. If we do notice them and
take action not only does our level of preparedness improve, but our
general quality of life does so as well.
FerFAL
Fernando “FerFAL” Aguirre is the author of “The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse” and “Bugging Out and Relocating: When Staying is not an Option”