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1) Make sure he’s socially impaired from an early age. He should not play with neighbors, be challenged by pairs in any way that upsets him or participate in team sports of any kind. The less he interacts with children and other people in general, the better.
2) Try spending as little time as possible with your son. You
already did what is socially expected from you by having a kid, no sense
in wasting any more of your spare time. After all, you work hard and
deserve to relax and have a good time. You’re not supposed to have a
life, have some fun? And lets be honest here, we all know you cant do
that with a kid around.
3) If you must stay at home along with your son for more than 5
minutes, TV, internet and video games are the best way to keep him off
your back. Get him Black Ops Two, he’ll spend entire days killing
terrorists and other nation enemies. Better yet, buy him his own TV and
let him play in his room. Sign him up for World of Worldcraft or some
other virtual alternative life. His real life sucks anyway, a virtual
one where he rules a kingdom of elves and slays anyone that opposes him
might be good for him. That way you’ll never be bothered by him and you
can watch Oprah on the living room undisturbed. Next week she’s
presenting a book on parenting. You definitely want to watch that one!
4) You don’t want your son to grow up being a religious weirdo
or pedophile so the best you can do is bring him up in a home with no
crazy religious stuff. Catholic churches are the worst since they are
all child molesters, and you certainly don’t want you son receiving
orders from the Pope through text messages (it does happen, all the
time!). Christianity in general is a bad idea. Not killing, lying or
stealing and loving one another? Not on your watch! A good atheist that
doesn’t believe in a higher power and consequences for his actions on an
after-life is much better.
5) As your son grows older he might start avoiding sunlight,
dressing in all black clothes and hanging posters of androgenous vampire
rock stars who’s music sucks. Don’t worry. This is all very normal. You
may be tempted to remove all that crap from your home, throw your kid
in your truck and take him camping in the middle of winter so he both
freezes his butt and mans up a little while spending some quality time
with his old man. Restrain yourself from doing so.
6) You might want to seek help at this point even though this is
all very normal for a teenager. You weren’t that way, neither was I,
but its still normal, nothing wrong with your bundle of joy. Your bundle
of joy might be better served by a cocktail of Prozac and Ritalin. This
will keep him happy (being happy is the most important thing in life
after all) and will help him focus in school. Watching less TV and
playing less WOW along with spending more time outdoors with other
humans, even playing sports might help too, but popping pills is more
practical and lets face it, its so much quieter in the house when he’s
locked in his room instead.
7) By now kids may be giving your son a hard time in school.
This is of course other people’s fault as it always will be, so make
sure you go to school and complain as much as you can. That’s what
responsible and caring parents do after all, blame others for how poorly
they are educating their kids. Remember to threaten to sue while you’re
at it. Your son has every right to be the weirdest creep the world has
ever seen. His classmates shouldn’t exclude him just because he doesn’t
talk to anyone, wears more makeup than Lady Gaga and drinks chicken
blood during lunch.
8) At this point, try anything you can do to detach your son
from the real world even further. He has no friends, hardly speaks to
anyone including teachers and spends hours every day in a virtual
alternate reality killing people. By now you’re either divorced or
pretty close to it and hardly talk with any of your family members at
all. No aunts, uncles, grandparents, nothing, your son has no family
support. Thankfully he doesn’t believe in some silly God that cares
about him either, how crazy would that be? Lets see, what else can we do
to mess up this kid even more. How about spending some quality time
discussing doom and gloom end of the world issues? You want to be
prepared after all, and TV shows tell you that’s what real survivalists
do, prepare for far-fetched, unrealistic scenarios that never happened
before but look cool on TV. Hey, your son might dig that, he’s already
detached from reality anyways.
9) At this point you can teach your son how to shoot and leave
several firearms lying around your medicated an mentally disturbed
offspring. But don’t worry, if you don’t buy them and leave them
unlocked for him to pick he can just go out there and just buy them
illegally or steal them.
10) By the time you get the call about your son committing a
heinous crime your work as a parent is done. Who would have thought that
such a caring, loving person could do such a thing? But don’t worry,
you have guns, videogames, survivalists and TV in general to blame.
That’s clearly the reason why your son turned out that way.
FerFAL
27 comments:
Hey Fernando,
Senor Fiesta here. I get the joke. All done tongue in cheek. And some good ones in there.
However, I do need to discuss #4. I've seen this belief in your writings before and I ask that you not follow the assumption that religious people are good and non-religious people are not. Some horrible acts are done in the name of religion. Whether someone is religious or not has no bearing here. Timothy McVeigh was raised and identifies himself as a Christian yet that didn't stop him from blowing up a building that contained a day care center. Hitler was raised and identified himself a Christian, too. Just because you attempt to raise a kid Christian doesn't mean he will be a Christian. People who think they are better/better people than others just because they go to church and those others do not really get on my nerves. I see it in every church I've gone to. My current one has the fewest of all the churches I have encountered(which is why I go there) but it still has a few.
Quite frankly, I think those that do good (and refrain from doing bad) because it's the right way to behave and not through belief in God or fear of hell are better people than those who do good (or don't do bad) from fear of hell.
I commend you for being Christian and for raising your kids as such but do not make the mistake of thinking that they will stay Christians. Nor, that raising them as Christians will stop them from doing anything of that magnitude.
Doing 1, 2, 3 (and possibly 5) as you wrote them do more to create a mass murderer than #4.
My two cents.
But in general, I found this article entertaining and "spot on" in some of its sarcasm.
Wow, that's a really good post FerFAL.
I only have to comment about #4, the religious part. As an atheist, as I commented before on your video post about the CT mass shooting, I'll say again morality doesn't come from religion.
In other words you don't need to be religious to have the moral values some religions like Christianity teach.
I think the main point you are making, which I agree with, is basically not having the kid experience enough social love. That can come from family and friends, as you mention by spending time with your kid, or encouraging them to interact and be friends with others.
I bring up the religious point to show that believing in a higher power and Hell after death is NOT the reason we don't have random people shooting up everybody every day. Fear of such things obviously doesn't prevent the extremely atrocious and saddening behavior we see throughout the history of the world.
As you pointed out in your video the U.S. is where a disproportionate number of these killings happen. It's also an extremely violent country overall, to be a First world nation. Yet, it's one of the most religious countries around (Christianity).
Anyone that cares to do a little research will find a correlation that countries that are the least religious (like Denmark, Norway, Sweden, U.K. for example) usually have the least violence (annual murder rates).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Importance_of_religion_by_country
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate
Again, I'm not trying to offend religious people, just point out true information.
Watching a Louis Theroux documentary on American children who are medicated for 'personality' problems really opened my eyes to the problems in the USA and, to a lesser extent Europe, where parents totally deny any responsibility for their children and drug them instead.
That pretty much sums up all that is wrong with society, adults refusing to accept any responsibility and children drugged and ignored.
He was born with Autistism/Asperger syndrome.
Its a physical impairment, not something you can overcome or induce with a different upbringing.
A parent should not let a child with this syndrome have any access to guns or weapons because sociopaths (another name for the syndrome) are very dangerous.
"A good atheist that doesn’t believe in a higher power and consequences for his actions on an after-life is much better."
I don't understand your need to kick atheists. I believe in consequences for my actions here and now. Furthermore I don't believe that I can mystically be forgiven by some omnipotent being - if I screw up I better man up and seek forgiveness from those I wronged.
You believe what you like, I don't mind at all (I was indoctrinated as a Catholic when I was a child too), but think on this; every religion throughout history has preached that it was the one true religion.
Ancient Egyptians worshiping multiple gods firmly believed it with just as much faith as you, doesn't mean the sun is actually a god named Ra though.
That is pretty much it in a nutshell, by the way, here in Kentucky, AR's and ammo are evaporating, good thing I read your book about a year ago.
Atheist readers,
Guys, I get it. You can be a great person and be atheist and you can be a scumbag and claim to be a Christian (though any sort of evil does go agaisnt true Christian values)
Westboro Baptist Church, they claim to be "Christians" yet they insult families at loved ones funerals. I doubt Christ would approve.
On the other hand I do believe that it is better to believe in a higher power. The case of Michael Carneal,a 14 year old self claimed atheist that shot 8 kids during a group prayer at school would be a good example. I think that for a lonely kid with no friends, Christ might be the only friend he has and that might make all the different in the outcome of what that person does. Of course this is my opinion and your's can be completely different and I get it there's good and bad people on both sides.
Take care folks,
FerFAL
I'll support FerFAL on the whole Christianity thing. I know plenty of people who are nominally Christian who have lots of problems (but don't we all!) and could be characterized as bad people. I also know people who really aren't religious or are outright atheist who are some of the nicest, most caring people you will ever meet.
But when it comes down to it, I think on the whole that spirituality (not necessarily organized religion) in general (or any other organized set of moral beliefs with clear right and wrong) is good for humanity. It is certainly good for individuals when it is properly applied.
A good example of this is my wife. She grew up in a /very/ dysfunctional family with an abusive (undiagnosed) paranoid schizophrenic 'father' who liked to play with people's minds and a younger brother who tried to beat her to death. She contemplated suicide on a number of occasions and got into self-injury. She also was into the Goth scene a bit. Eventually she got therapy (this was mostly counseling but it included some psychotropic drugs, which she got off of as soon as she could) and mostly got over her issues. She still deals with bad memories of her past and her family is still messed up, but mostly she's better.
The one thing she had which kept her going the entire time was her belief in Jesus and that there was actually somebody out there who cared about her. (Yogic philosophy also helped, but she encountered that just before therapy, and it played less of a role in keeping her alive than it did in helping her get over her issues.) To this day she is a staunch Christian.
Say what you will about not needing religion as an atheist who had a happy childhood with lots of friends, no 'big' problems, and somebody to teach you right from wrong and to discipline you, but a lot of people out there are not nearly as fortunate. For them, an organized moral philosophy or religion can mean the difference between losing it all and staying on the right track. On balance, I think religion (and nearly any religion, at that) does far more good than it does harm, and that we could use a good deal more of it in this country.
Ferfal, I hear what you're saying but probably a strong sense of community would be more helpful. I think this is really lacking in the USA and in developed countries as a whole.
I wonder if he knew those kids, their mums and dads, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins, could he kill them as easy or at all?
1) Fanatism is what harbors violence. Fanatism can be found in self-proclaimed "religious" people and in atheists too (e.g. Stalin's terrrorism). Jesus Christ spoke againts fanatism. Proactive atheism which is promoted in nowadays western societies has elements of nihilism (=believe in nothing) and fanatism.
2) Anonymous 12.05: Hitler was an atheist or indifferent.
3)As for gun ownership it is customary in the Greek island of Crete and also in Arabic societies. No Cretan or Arab has ever killed children in schoolyards, although they may kill you because of vendetta custom (in Crete) or for "honour" (in Arab countries). Violence takes different forms in different societies and yes, Scandinavic countries are no exception.
Spot on post. Including the point on religion. And the commenter who writes that a nihilist with a fascination for the occult, Germanic heathenism and hinduism, who at the same time was deeply rooted in the tenets of materialism of which racially fixed national socialism is one of the offsprings, who persecuted the Church severely and declared that after the war he would have to kill off the remaining Catholic priests under his rule (aka Hitler) "identified himself a Christian" should really read some history.
The point is that belief makes for an additional source of constraint against violating moral norms. If a Catholic starts killing innocent people then this means he most probably is not Catholic after all if he chooses to violate both Natural and Divine Law so severely. His belief in afterlife punishment must be very low indeed.
Also, the sheer existence of moral laws must rely in nonsense if there be no Absolute source of them, but this is a topic for a philosophical discussion.
From my observation, usually non-religious people tend to be rather lax on moral issues. This does not imply they kill people for fun, I mean rather everyday life, their attitude towards others and their plights, their low level of immunity against media brainwashing, their legal positivism etc.
Outstanding post. Sharp rapier wit. Biting sarcasm. All while point out so many common boneheaded parenting practices. Bravo!
Hey Fernanado,
You are dead on in your anaslysis. Even with number 4. Atheists like to believe they are just as moral as everyone else. Never realizing that they are actually right. Christians don;t belive they are morally superior, that is a projection from guilty atheists. Christians believe we have been forgiven for our past wrongs and strive not to repeat them. Your comment to them was excellent. Love your blog i check it daily, have your book and practice much of it.
Senor Fiesta here,
To Anon 12/18 2:02
Learn about Aspergers before calling them socio-paths. Your ignorance is GLARING! First,it's not a physical impairment but a nuerological disorder but I'm sure you knew that but were stating that it's not something developed over time, you either have it or you don't. "Aspies" as they call themselves are not inherently anti-social sociopaths. I've known more than a few (old roommate was social worker who worked mainly with Aspies and Autistics) and also from my friends and I, whom in college brought one that lived in the dorms under our wing. At worst, they can be dangerous (like any random person) but in general they have varying levels of social awkwardness that they are all just trying to overcome and deal with. All but the most extreme Aspies respond well when they have a group that includes and accepts them. I COMPTLETELY agree with the idea that giving them guns is a bad idea but it's mostly because they tend to be very hard on themselves sometimes not because they will blow a bunch of people away. Essentially saying all Aspies will snap and blow people away is the same as saying all Pit Bulls are bad and will attack humans. Some certainly will no matter what. Some would without a good owner and upbringing and some never will. And qutie frankly it's not very difficult to determine where they (Pit Bulls or Aspies) fall in that spectrum. It just takes an objective eye (something most parents do not have). Yes, the shooter was a socio-path but don't insinuate that all Aspies are because it's nowhere near the truth.
Greek Caste,
wrong on Hitler, Mein Kampf is littered with lip service to Christianity. His actions certainly were not Christian (by my definition) but that doesn't mean he didn't identify as one and invoke Christianity and his belief in God and Jesus in speeches and addresses.
ElDesmadre,
no history lesson required. His statements are there for all to read.
Thank you for proving my point about the self proclaimed superior morality of some Christians. It's nice to have an example to illustrate my point.
I volunteer at various charities in my area (with my church and on my own) and find about the same proportion of atheists to believers (in whatever religion) as I do in the general population. But then again I live in area where athiests actually exist and aren't some mystical troll under the bridge waiting to lure your children from the teachings of the bible.
God's love is for everyone, atheists included. They might not accept God but they'll accept God's love as it comes through you. Yes, now that is me on my high horse, but I prefer my horse to yours.
Fernando, Thankyou for not trading your faith for political correctness.
Anonymous, December 19, 2012 2:45 PM
His words and actions speak for themselves. His quotes on the Church and his contempt towards Christianity in general, Catholicism in particular - indeed for all to read. His version of the Kulturkampf that was far more severe than that of Bismarck. It's difficult to have a meaningful historical discussion with an American. For many of you, history is not a question of unearthing truth but one of attractive narration. This seems to be both culturally and mentally rooted. If it suits you...
Besides Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Vatican there doesn't seem to be any area where atheists do not actually exist. Oh, maybe additionally besides trenches, as the saying goes.
And this: "Thank you for proving my point about the self proclaimed superior morality of some Christians. It's nice to have an example to illustrate my point." coming from someone who boasts to "volunteer at various charities" proves the opposite, I'm afraid.
@ libertyguy
Denmark, Norway and Sweden used to be very ethnically homogeneous and pretty egalitarian. The result of that is stability. When the same people left for the US the became a lot more religious.
Everyone needs a tribe, to feel at home. Even more so when you are in a place surrounded by strangers. Religion in the US fills that need, whereas back home the same people didn't need it.
I'm not religious but when I sit in my local church on Christmas I'm still moved. I's an emotional response, but it's still valid.
@Fernando, pretty much spot on.
I'm an atheist. It isn't a choice. I simply can't bring my boy up to be religious. I can, and do, bring him up to have a strong sense of right and wrong.
If 'you can be a great person and be atheist', then why is 4 (and to a lesser extent, 8) there at all? And yes, as per the comment above, this is indeed an example of the self-proclaimed superior morality of some Christians. Not all Christians are like this- I work for a Christian organisation, I'm openly atheist, and it's not held against me at work. Certainly, no-one there would be daft enough to tell me I'm not raising my son right.
This would have been a great post, without the atheists-can't-raise-children-as-well-as-I-can stance I get a gutful of on other sites. Most of the rest of the article is great.
Also, the commenter equating Asperger syndrome with sociopathy is way off the mark. My boy has Asperger syndrome, and I've worked with many 'Aspies' professionally. In the main, they're more appalled by violence than the rest of us.
@atheist
Morality? You are missing the point.
This is not about your moral level - it is all about FEAR.
If you believe a superior beeing (god) is watching you and will punish you for your actions you will act differently.
Lets assume the black-dressed-full-of-shit-guy hates this live and wants to end it with a big bang.
If he is atheist, he might say: "Better end it fast and be done with it"
If he is a believer in some godly beeing he might re-consider: "Hm one day of glory versus 1000 years in the torture chamber of hell? That does not sound like such a good idea."
Got it?
It's so frustrating to see so many people in my country lacking your common sense. As tough as life must've been in Argentina, it's clear that a tough life has given you a clear head.
I support organized religion. It does more good than harm, esp. Christianity which teaches love and humility. There would be LESS love and humility without it. Those that state that "religion" is a source for wars, etc. are forgetting that atheists and pagans are as equally brutal if not moreso. Anyway, religion & morals, in the context that Ferfal is suggesting is a positive in a family's life, represents collective wisdom over time in our civilization. As science marches forward, we collect the wisdom of reason. As religion has evolved in our societies, helping us order them along moral lines, that also represents collective wisdom. Atheists can hold their beliefs but should be careful when attacking the accumulated morals and wisdom that our Western religions have evolved and provided, we're worse off without it, as we now see.
I think most atheists attack religion because religious people attack atheists. There is an interesting article in salon.com that points out that in places where religion is weak atheists are generally indifferent to religion. In places where religions are in people's faces and accusing atheists of immorality the atheists tend to be more vocal and oppositional too. Maybe the founding fathers had the right idea that the main value is to let everyone make their own religious decision and not to favor one set of religious beliefs over the other. The evangelical Christians will hate this, but in fact most religions overlap quite a bit in what is considered "moral" behavior (Golden Rule anyone?). And now there is scientific evidence that a lot of moral behavior comes from inborn characteristics. Parental involvement seems to correlate pretty well with kids' outcomes, and even my godless liberal buddies for the most part seem to love their kids and love spending time with them. But maybe some kids are born so evil that not even their parents can put up with them? Maybe if there were some programs - whether through a church, civic organization or (Gasp!) the government - that could help the kids with bad parents grow up normally? Seems like a good thing to me! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Joyful Kwanza to all!
All are sinful and have capability of evil. We control the monster by proper child rearing of which religious training can be extremely helpful. Society environment, education, friends, media, entertainment and the rest all could be what they call family friendly. But, our country is trending away from our Christian heritage. The separation of church and state argument is fallacious. Removing religion from public schools a bad modern day invention. Modern psychiatry pill pushers a horrible solution.
Two good ways to increase school security. Have emergency egress from classroom to outside. Better to allow mass exit than huddle in large groups together in wait. Let the teacher decide on course of action. Also, like Israel we should include security teachers whom elect special training and armament. I can't imagine sending a child to a school with zero ability to defend. These children are to valuable to be held to some political virtue. The world has many nutcases whom seek out and harm to those without defenses. Usually, to the most defenseless and do so just to enrage citizenry.
"To view atheism as a way of life, whether beneficial or harmful, is false and misleading. Just as the failure to believe in magic elves does not entail a code of living or a set of principles, so the failure to believe in a god does not imply any specific philosophical system. From the mere fact that a person is an atheist, one cannot infer that this person subscribes to any particular positive beliefs. One's positive convictions are quite distinct from the subject of atheism. While one may begin with a basic philosophical position and infer atheism as a consequence of it, this process cannot be reversed. One cannot move from atheism to a basic philosophical belief, because atheism can be (and has been) incorporated within many different and incompatible philosophical systems." - George H. Smith, Atheism: The Case Against God
"Intellectually, to rest one's case on faith means to concede that reason is on the side of one's enemies - that one has no rational arguments to offer. The "conservatives'" claim that their case rests on faith, means that there are no rational arguments to support the American system, no rational justification for freedom, justice, property, individual rights, that these rest on a mystic revelation and can be accepted only on faith - that in reason and logic the enemy is right, but men must hold faith as superior to reason." - Ayn Rand ("Conservatism: An Obituary," Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, 196.)
"Religion and Morality" By Onkar Ghate (Recorded October 18, 2006; 1 hour lecture):
"From the teaching of "Intelligent Design" in the classroom to federal prohibition on the funding of stem cell research to the Terri Schiavo case, religion is playing an increasing role in America's public life. The advocates of religion claim that only religion can restore values to America - by combating moral skepticism and relativism with an absolute view of right and wrong, applicable to everyone. If God is dead, it is often thought today, then everything would be permitted. But does morality rest on religion? Can it rest on religion? Are moral absolutes possible with religion? Without religion? What approach to morality can actually bring values to American culture? These are the questions this talk addresses."
"The Ten Commandments vs America" Op Ed by Harry Binswanger
What the religious will deny, Hugo Chavez knows and counts on:
"Socialism or Death! I swear it!...I swear by Christ, the greatest socialist in history!" - Hugo Chavez
Thomas Bowden's 8 minute discussion with Brad Davis on Hugo Chavez and Socialism.
There are the nominally religious and the faithful religious. There are moral atheists and amoral atheists. Being "religious" does not make one any more good than bad.
Christians believe in a god and that Jesus was the living son of that god. Atheists believe that there is no god. Both christians and atheists believe what they believe, so they both have a belief system but that does not mean they have morals. I know some christians that spend a LOT of time parading in church who have completely corrupt moral systems.
That said, there are also agnostics who believe that there is some higher power but not know how to identify it (many supposed atheists fall in this category thinking that lack of being christian makes them atheists) and the founding fathers were which deists which made a lot of sense at the time of the Engightenment (and perhaps today as well).
That said, I find the comments of atheists just as outrageous and obnoxious as fanatical christians. You believe what you believe, now live and let live.
Thank you FerFAL for your blog. Your comments are pretty much spot on, especially about the need for parents to do their job and spend quality time with their children.
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