I hope you guys appreciate this. I just watched about two hours of Honey Boo Boo videos. My IQ must have dropped 20% because of it and the images will haunt me forever. Gone are the days of the silly “realty shows”. It’s a new world out there people. There’s nothing you can do anymore that is stupid or degrading enough. We didn’t just lose our moral compass. Someone threw away the last compass mankind had and burned and erased all dictionaries so that we don’t even know what the word moral means anymore.
Yesterday I was talking with an American friend that is… well, lets call it disappointed with the way things are going these days in his country. We talked about how things have been changing in the last few years, not only in America but the entire world. One thing lead to another and he sent me a link to South Park’s Honey Boo Boo episode, a parody about The Learning Channel’s most recent abomination. Yes people, abomination as in abhorrent monstrosity, offensive to the natural order of things.
I just wasn’t ready for it. After watching the South Park episode I watched the actual show. Compared to the real show, the South Park parody was refined world class humor.
We all know by now what garbage gets labeled as entertainment these days, and reality shows show the worst of what “reality” has to offer. I remember the days when Discovery and History channel were “boring” by the average guy’s standards, full of documentaries about space, nature or academic approaches to various social and cultural events. Today? Well, you know.
How can I explain what “Here comes Honey Boo Boo” represents?
Lets see. A morbidly obese family, including 7 year old “Honey Boo Boo”. This is a child overweight beyond what any doctor would consider healthy and yet fed in a way I wouldn’t feed my dog. That kid is being murdered with corn syrup. I’m not kidding. It’s a clearly morbidly obese child being fed fat and syrup in a deliberate attempt against its health. If live coverage of such neglect isn’t enough to have the child taken away by Child Protective Service I don’t know what else is needed.
Any cheap and disgusting thing you’ve ever seen on TV is here. Farting, mucus eating and burping with constant references to how the family members look like pigs. TLC is as subtle as getting a haircut with a lawnmower with their swine references. A teen mother that doesn’t know what “abdomen” means. A 33 year old grandmother with four kids from four different fathers living in filth, all of them with such poor speak skills, they constantly need subtitles as if they spoke in another language. Again, the not so subtle message here is these people aren’t even humans given that you shouldn’t need English subtitles for English speaking people, should you?
You have all the possible negative redneck stereotypes wrapped into one show: Fat, child beauty pageant obsession, southern accent, ignorance and fast food all edited for that extra disgusting effect and of course, the constant banjo music as icing on the cake. Its all about denigrating the South, about showing low income, welfare white people as sub human animals.
Quiet, dignified, hard working southerner? No way, this is the ultimate freak show baby! We all know that no one “from the South” goes to college or even touches a book. All educated Americans come from LA and New York of course. Lets grab a bunch of ignorant clowns, promiscuous, fat and stupid and lets show them doing stupid stuff while drinking corn syrup in a brutal race to diabetes, now that’s what “theSouth” is all about. Oh yeah!
At this point we have to ask ourselves, is this just a tragic accident? The stereotyping and discrimination towards what CNN calls “The South”, is obvious enough, but is this just an unfortunate series of events? Is TLC just trying to make a few more millions by feeding the mass of viewers what they want or is there something else going on here? In the South Park parody they talked about lowering the bar. Is this a deliberate attempt to lower the bar, right there to the floor where we can all just trip on it and break our necks?
I don’t believe much in coincidences and I especially don’t believe in THAT many coincidences. When you make a deliberate attempt to portrait a poor white southern family as the most disgusting pack of animals on the planet, a mockery of what the American family used to be, you sure as hell have an agenda. In case this is all too subtle for the average viewer, TLC throws in a plastic baby Jesus, toes eaten by rats, and Honey Boo Boo spitting in its face. Take that Bible Belt!
You know what’s worse? What makes you lose all hope ? Its not the millions watching it, because millions can watch it like they can watch a youtube clip of a plane crash or car accident. The worst part is something else.
The worst part is that people “like” it.
As in they like it on youtube, facebook, social media. In general they do like it and feel this is just good ‘ol fun. Oh boy! Put me some of ‘em subtitles ‘cause I’m know no more how is spoke ‘em English!
Honey Boo Boo (God, brain cells do die each time I type this) isn’t about the decline of America. Sadly enough, Honey Boo Boo is what you have AFTER the collapse. This is the post-collapse American family people. As cheap and useless as it gets. This is what America has become, but not just America. This is what Europe, Asia, Africa and Latin America has turned into as well. Its global. In UK parents burn down their house with their kids inside for the insurance. In Spain a 40 year old chops his parents to pieces with a sword because they don’t let him play videogames any more. The lowest common denominator indeed. You just cant get any lower than this, than people effectively transformed into a bunch of brute animals. Into Pigs. Pigs that speak, but barely so. They need subtitles after all. TLC has gone Gorge Orwell on us.
I leave you with the two most significant quotes of the 21th century, the ones that mark the collapse of western civilization, forget that, the collapse of all human kind.
“Honey Boo Boo endorsed me, so that's a big relief.”
“I wish I had an extra finger. Then I could grab more cheeseballs.”
Honey Boo Boo