Security for Women

Anonymous said...

Let me start by saying that I am a woman, and I completely understand fears about kidnappings, sexual assaults, or worse. However, I found this post sad and disturbing for many reasons.

I disagree very much with the idea of intentionally making yourself ugly to avoid being a crime victim. The main reason it disturbs me is because, for most people, it's demoralizing and damaging to your self-confidence to intentionally let your looks go. When you know you look like a troll, you start to feel like it to. Don't believe me? Go put on your Sunday best and look at yourself in the mirror. Who doesn't get a small boost in confidence when they see themselves looking pretty damn good? People generally feel better when they look their best.

Now I'm sure at this point someone is thinking that I'm materialistic, shallow, consumerist, etc. I'm far from it--I really don't care what you wear. My entire point here is that in a SHTF situation, you're going to want to want every shred of self-confidence and positive thinking you can muster up. Taking extreme measures such as gaining weight (which, btw, is just all-around bad advice, sorry) is going to put you at a psychological disadvantage for survival.

You don't have to sacrifice your looks to protect yourself. Let me tell you about how I protect myself. First and foremost, I carry a gun and a knife with me at all times, and I have taken self-defense classes. I keep myself in shape in case I need to run or fight. I'm extremely vigilant when I go out, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. I keep myself free of distractions while in public, like cell phones and iPods. I wear sensible footwear and sensible clothing. By "sensible clothing", I mean nothing flashy, expensive, or provocative. I can easily blend into a crowd.

Notice how nowhere in the above paragraph did I mention gaining weight, wearing baggy clothing, or generally looking like a hag. If you want to do that stuff, go right ahead, but please don't fall into the trap of believing that you NEED to take those measures in order to be safe. You don't.

Furthermore, I take offense at the underlying implication in the original post that ugly women are less likely to be victimized. This is perpetuating the myth that attractive women are just "asking for it" by looking sexy. This has been debunked many times over. Men do not rape for sex; they rape because they get off on control, domination, and power. They can just as easily get that from someone who is utterly repulsive. And let's not forget that sexual assaults and kidnappings are most often committed by people who know the victim. In these cases, looking unattractive isn't going to save your butt.

February 7, 2010 1:03 PM

Thanks for that comment. Lots of good advice right there.
I couldn’t get my wife to dress bad or make herself ugly even if I tried, so no, I don’t think its shallow at all. I think it does boost your self confidence and your morale as you mention.
Staying in fighting/running shape, having shoes and clothes for that as well, and being religious about carrying your weapons sure is the way to go.
I’m not so sure about rapists and the way they choose their victims. Each monster seems to have its particular perversion and no one, of any age or appearance is safe.
There’s rapists that have raped 80 year old grandmas and stay within that pattern for whatever messed up reason they have in their heads, others even rape babies, but I’d say that the most common type of rapist prefers young women.
Then again, as you mentioned, most rapes are perpetuated by people that knew the victim, often they are relatives. I’d say you have a pretty broad popuri of freaks out there, but for some reason the rapist going after young girls is more common that the one going after the grandmas. No, not saying its the victims fault, just saying what happens most often.
Here’s the link to the excerpt about rape in my book, The Modern Survival Manual, with some advice for women, including some advice from a rape victim: link.

FerFAL